Day 4 - Jumping right in...

so obviously I am already 3 days behind, but instead of going crazy to play catch-up (this is an un-challenge after all) i'm just going to jump right in to Day 4: What has most surprised you about parenthood?

And how appropriate this question is today, when I was just thinking about the fact that I haven't been able to find even 10 minutes in the past 3 days to answer these questions -- What possibly have I been doing!? Oh right. I have an infant...

When I first read this question, my knee-jerk response: Everything! But when I think a bit more about what that means, I guess it is the fact that having a child -- or at least an infant -- changes everything about what a normal "day in the life" was pre said infant. At first W and I were surprise how HARD it was -- I think hubris led us to believe that having a baby would mean we had this wonderful bundle of giggles and cuddle, but that our lives would go on pretty much as they had. We just assumed that Izzy would adjust to our schedules, be totally ok with some days at home, evening meetings or dinners out and some days "on the run" with errands. We thought babies who had ridged schedules were somehow being "taught" to be inflexible....I'm not sure it if is Izzy specifically, or all babies, but she is NOT the kind of kid who just "tags along". She does best with routine and a schedule -- she needs her naps to be fairly regular and in a quiet (stationary) place.

And because of this pretty much everything about our lives have adjusted -- both in good and unsettling ways. I used to be someone who was on-time / bordering on early EVERYWHERE..now I consider 15 minutes late to be fairly "on-time" -- We used to pride ourselves on traveling lightly - and now, despite our best efforts, we are accompanied by an entourage of crap, at at the very least a diaper bag(s) roughly the size of a foot locker that people used when crossing the Atlantic a century ago. I am on several community committees and volunteer organizations and used to attend meetings at least twice a week in the evenings. Im sure at some point (hopefully in the next year) I can return with full energy to this work, but for now, I limit myself to one meeting a week, and we try to be home at least 4 nights to get her to bed (in her crib) by 7.

Encompassed in the shifts, is the fact that our relationship to each other has changed dramatically as well. I think a lot of new parents (us included) idealized how we would feel -- wanting to cuddle on the couch all night and stare at our beautiful baby -- and I think, maybe one night we did, but it is also hard work -- really hard work. I feel so lucky that I have such a supportive partner in crime for this amazing task, but the exhaustion mixed with everything else, definitely puts a strain on our relationship.

Now don't get me wrong, we love being parents and feel so lucky to have this amazing, adorable, little person in our lives, but sometimes we sit back and try to recognize what about our lives these days even remotely resembles our lives 5 months ago... Little adjustments here and there, but somehow our lives feel totally different.