Wednesday, February 17, 2010
BFP! (no, not mine)
Our best friends just found out they are pregnant! I am SO excited for them (go IVF). I yelped in excitement when I got the text, and then several seconds later felt a burning twinge of jealousy, followed by guilt. Why does this whole process turn us into ungrateful monsters? I am so, so happy for them, but can't help thinking 'when we it be our turn??'
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
same. i feel that so much right now.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard. I remember that all too clearly.
ReplyDeleteI've had that exact feeling too many times!
ReplyDeleteThe other day, my partner Elizabeth and I were listening to something on the radio, and they were talking about schadenfreude. Someone called into the show and mentioned how interesting it is that there is no opposite of schadenfreude. Maybe there's no official word, but anyone who has been TTC for too long sure has felt it! It really is painful to see someone else's happiness and wonder if it will ever be you. And then of course we feel guilty for not sharing completely in our friends' joy. Maybe we wouldn't feel like such monsters if we had some crazy German word to attach to those feelings.
ReplyDeleteSo far, I've just been happy for the people I know who are pregnant (and want to be), but then, we haven't actually started inseminating yet. (Next month! Fingers crossed!) I'm a little concerned that if the process drags on forever we'll get to that point, though, especially if all of the many friends who are also in this process get there first. It's not a race, I know, but sometimes it feels a little like a hike in the woods, and others are heading rapidly down the trail while you're (we're) still hanging out at the beginning reading the signposts.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, I try to view it as "these people are just a little ways ahead, and can warn us about the pitfalls ahead". That helps a little for me, anyway, since I've always been a fan of learning from others' choices. :-)