Rolling forward

Friday was the hardest for me, as the newness of our disappointment made me catch my thoughts as I rerouted from thinking, in 7 months we will have our summer baby, lets start planning!.....to focusing on other aspects of our winter/spring/summer and how they might look under this new light. Since Im an optimist, I even found myself saying "traveling to Mexico with a 2 year old will be MUCH nicer if W isnt 28 weeks pregnant" or our summer out at the beach is looking more secure, and now we can DEFINITELY move ahead with our plan to visit W's relatives in Sweden without worrying about whether our 3 month old can make the trip, etc. Izzy also happened to have a hard weekend (getting sick is the pits!) so it was also a clear reminder that we have a wonderful kiddo who definitely fills us with love, humor and frustration. But.....

we are still mourning the loss, the disappointment of what could have been, what we DO want and what we hope to one day have, but the timing wont be quite as perfect as we had hoped. And right now, the next steps feel complicated. First, W may have to go for a D&C later this week if things dont "clear-up" on their own. Also, just to make it more chaotic our KD and his family are coming into town this weekend/next week. We are excited to see him and them, but somehow adding more people to what could be a hard weekend feels overwhelming. We are pretty sure we are taking at least 2 months off -- while we are both anxious to get-going again, we also  know that for timing reasons having a baby (should we be so lucky) in the early Fall next year would be hard for our schedules.

So thats where we are now, thank you all for your kind words and warmth....Much like the storm that is rolling over New England, we will press on...

Hope you are staying dry/safe! This morning, Izzy sang to Sandy, but then quickly became distracted by our dog, Thali.