I've been pretty quiet this TTC, in part because its been a really busy 9 days (yes, I'm still ONLY at 9 DPO) and in part because I really don't know what to think/report about this cycle.
We planned, tested and timed, hopefully better than in the past, but its hard to be hopeful (or not) because the HCG is so confusing. As I mentioned in my last post, Dr. G has me on HCG injections every 3 days post-o, which means that I am technically pregnant (or at least have all the 'right' hormones shooting through my body), but all of my symptoms could be a hoax due to the injections. I keep envisioning this pathetic scenario -- what if we keep taking these shots (we are supposed to be on them for 3 weeks!!), and thus AF doesn't arrive, and somehow we convince ourselves we are pregnant, but...we aren't. Some how that disappointment seems so much harder than the typical AF arrival-disappointment. Moreover, there is something particularly upsetting about 'feeling' pregnant but not actually being pregnant. I have all the joyous symptoms, bloating/gas, sore boobs, headaches, food cravings, exhaustion..but they are all explained by the hormones I am pumping into my body, versus those that my body is generating. Feeling crappy, but not getting the reward of a pregnancy doesn't seem fair.
Just to see what would happen, I took a pregnancy test (Internet cheapie) on day 4 (I took the first shot on day 3) and a very faint line popped up. I guess, at the very least, that's a sign that I am responding to the hormone properly.
Anyways, enough of the doom and gloom, W and I had a fantastic, sunny weekend around the house and with friends. We are off to CA on Friday for a week with my family in Joshua Tree (ahh..desert) and then a-fly-by in the Bay Area. Work / school has been crazy for us this week so we haven't even had a chance to get excited, I am sure it will all hit as we board the plane -- Spring Break 2010! Wooho!
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Waiting, feeling pregnant, not knowing it you really are...oh the fun of this process, huh?! Drives me crazy also. I've only been through 2 1/2 cycles so far but its been enough to make me just try to ignore the "symptoms". Have a great time in CA! You're coming to our part of the world. Maybe the rain will finally go away while you're here. :) (The hills are all pretty green though!)
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your vacation in the sun and good luck on this cycle ladies!
ReplyDeleteHey boatmate. Sounds like we've got ourselves in for a good ride these next few days. Let's make a deal. If you don't drive yourself crazy, then I won't drive myself crazy, got it? Whaddya think? Best of luck!!!!
ReplyDeleteVacation sounds great. We're trying to figure out somewhere to go for a bit during my spring break at the end of the month.
ReplyDeleteFingers crossed that there's a little embryo growing in there!
word verification=vagessto
'nuff said.
I've never heard of using HCG injections that way, but I guess it makes sense, given what I understand about the process. It does suck that you get the early pregnancy symptoms with no way of knowing if they're caused by pregnancy or the injections. Or just your body/hormones being weird.
ReplyDeleteLast cycle (TMI alert, sorry) my boobs were sore from ovulation until my period, and barring divine/alien intervention there was no possible way for me to be pregnant. Just happens occasionally.
I hear you with the symptom woes. It's such a mindf*ck. Nevermind the actual physical discomfort. As I write this you are at 11dpo, so you're getting close! I hope the symptoms turn to be the genuine article.
ReplyDeleteHey guys - thanks for all of the positive comments -- really! We are 99% sure that we are out this cycle as ALL symptoms came to a hault right after I posted this, but..oh well, what can we do!
ReplyDeleteHey Libby - were you successful at staying sane? Pretty sure we were too busy to go crazy this month :)