We met with Dr. H yesterday who confirmed the lack of heartbeat and agreed that our plan seemed appropriate. We have opted to take the 'natural route' for at least 2 weeks to see if W's body is up to the challenge. Dr. H pulled out her calendar/due-date wheel, and predicted that the earliest she would want us to start again anyways would be January (assuming 2 weeks until the miscarriage ends, 4-6 weeks for W's period to return and 3-4 weeks for it to come again). So that is putting us at a mid/late January insem, at the earliest.While she liked the idea of trying a few more times with IUI given our success rate -- thought committing to 5 more tries (!!) before bringing in the big guns was a bit much. Most likely we will compromise with 2-3 IUIs and then go to IVF, but a lot depends on how insurance falls out.
So 2.5 months of TTC-free thoughts. That feels hard, but also something we both probably need. We have had to give up on the "perfect" 2.5 year spread between Iz and a potential sibling and instead are getting comfortable with the 3-4 year gap. There are advantages to this, right?
Several of the blocks near W's parents house close-off for Halloween - and Izzy LOVED it. I wasnt sure she would "get" it, but I actually think she did. Not the actual getting of the candy per se, but she loved the haunted porches, huge alien props (the theme was outer space) and costume-watching. Digging through her pumpkin to find her treats was pretty cool too!
In case you can't guess, she was an owl-lovie -- of course, toddler-selected.
So 2.5 months of TTC-free thoughts. That feels hard, but also something we both probably need. We have had to give up on the "perfect" 2.5 year spread between Iz and a potential sibling and instead are getting comfortable with the 3-4 year gap. There are advantages to this, right?
Several of the blocks near W's parents house close-off for Halloween - and Izzy LOVED it. I wasnt sure she would "get" it, but I actually think she did. Not the actual getting of the candy per se, but she loved the haunted porches, huge alien props (the theme was outer space) and costume-watching. Digging through her pumpkin to find her treats was pretty cool too!
In case you can't guess, she was an owl-lovie -- of course, toddler-selected.
Cute pictures!
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear you have a tentative plan for going forward. I definitely get the tension between wanting a break and wanting to just get this show on the road already!
And yes, there are lots of positives about having a slightly larger age gap between siblings. Some exhausted friends with a 2.5 year gap were just trying to convince me of this the other day.
Thinking of you guys in this difficult time.
I just got caught up on what has been going on. I am so sorry and my thoughts are with you. It breaks my heart. I am so sorry :( You have a plan and that makes you look to the future. Having the toddler now ... keeps you busy. She is so sweet! Love the pictures XOXO
ReplyDeleteOh friend, I feel your pain. We thought we would have kids less than 2 years apart, and we're about to hit the 3 year gap! It takes some mental readjusting, but as an older sibling who was definitely traumatized by the birth of my sister less than 2 years later and bit her every time a parent wasn't looking, I know there are benefits to a larger age gap. ;)
ReplyDeleteBut oh how sucky to have to wait to miscarry. What a horrible feeling. And even though you knew there would probably be no heartbeat, how brutal to have to go through the ultrasound to confirm it. I'm sorry.
Enjoy the mental freedom of the TTC-free zone and good luck with the resolution of this pregnancy. :(
Izzy makes an adorable owl-lovie. That does sound very toddler-selected. :-) We picked Critter's costume for him, but I think it suited him.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm sorry that the ultrasound brought bad news, even if it was expected. At least now you're out of limbo, though, and I know what a hell that can be. (Yes, pun intended.)
I think waiting things out for a bit sounds like a good idea, too. I had an easy time with my d&c, but PB's cousin was telling me about hers (for a missed miscarriage that hadn't started on its own), and how awful it was, and I had to wonder if the difference in our experiences had anything to do with the fact that in my case, the procedure was just helping along what was already happening. I mean, it may have been totally unconnected, but still, I wonder.
In any case, enjoy (as much as one can, given the circumstances) the breather, and hopefully when you come back to ttc-land, things will (finally) go smoothly. And big hugs in the meantime.