This weekend we went down to Brooklyn for a grad school friend's wedding. It was a beautiful ceremony (in the little pocket park in DUMBO under the bridges) and a fun night of toasts and dancing, but MAN, the pregnant lady can't stay up that late! There was a moment around 9:15 when I looked at my watch in horror when realized how early it still was...sheesh...
It was really fun to see my close group of "school" friends, many of whom flew out from Berkeley. We certainly didn't want to make the night about us, but since I wasn't drinking and needed an excuse to sit out more songs that I would normally, we decided to share our news. It was really touching to see how excited everyone got (we are the first couple in the group to start down the parenthood path, so it was particularly exciting, I think). It was also nice to share the news with such a large group of straight people in which not ONE person asked "how we did it" or "who the donor was" - I am saving that discussion for my next post, but we have found that there is an inverse relationship between how well we know the people we are telling / their age and whether the 2nd question out of their mouth is about the donor. The worst was my aunt who asked "who's is it" -- to which I responded, "ours" -- oyi..well thats just a teaser for more stories on that topic.
To complete our whirl-wind wedding week, we head to Bar Harbor tomorrow morning for a family wedding on Tuesday afternoon (yes, its a bit odd). My uncle is getting remarried and its a perfect brady bunch set-up. He has 4 kids and his new wife is bringing 3 more to the house. All 7 kids (under the age of 17) are in the wedding so it should be alot of fun. And again, it will be an opportunity to tell my dad's entire family about Pluto (many of my cousins will be closer in age to our child then his/her own cousins).
I _think_ I might have, almost, sort of poped (or at least starting to show) so the timing is perfect :) I promise when I get back, we will post a belly shot!
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That sounds like a great weekend! I'm really looking forward to hearing more about how people react when you tell them--especially since you seem to have the snappy comeback thing down.
ReplyDeleteI love that your friends gave the right response. My best friend and her gf now have two little ones, one each, and it makes me so mad (and protective!) when i mention this and people (who don't even know them) feel the need to know every little last detail - not only who the donor is, but how they 'connected' with him, what his motivation must have been, whether he was paid, how they did 'it' ... seriously, mind your own business! If a hetero couple had fertility issues and then became pregnant through unconventional* methods - people wouldn't be so nosey, would they!?
ReplyDelete*by unconventional - i mean making a baby with nothing more than unassisted passion. Sigh. I love the scene in If These Walls Could Talk 2 when Ellen talks about "i just want to be able to say 'oops, we went and made a baby with our love'"
M :)
ooh, we have had very similar experiences - i.e. that the less we know people, the more nosy they are. ugh. hello, have they no idea about how lesbians (and plenty of hets too - i've been surprised by how many straight folks will admit to infertility struggles or using one kind of donor or another to us) make families? no notion? have they been under a rock for ten years? anyway! glad you're feeling good. the wedding sounds fabulous.
ReplyDeleteGlad to here your reactions were of excitement (except for the inconsiderate aunt). We haven't had any questions regarding donor either. :)
ReplyDeleteLet's see those belly pics! It's so exciting when you start to show!!
Sounds like a good time. :-)
ReplyDeleteWe've had kind of a range on the number of questions people ask about the hows. My mother's friend, who is a naturally very curious person, with, shall I say, less of a firm sense of boundaries than some others, asked A LOT of questions. (Although I kind of got the faint impression that she wished she'd had the same option to get her daughter... but anyway.) On the other end of the spectrum is a friend who looked a little startled when I mentioned having to buy genetic material, as it apparently hadn't occurred to her that we hadn't done things entirely by ourselves.